Bad news

It's been crummy around here lately, first freezing and then oozing trickles of rain. So I was jolted this morning when, on the way home from the hospital, a fat, billowy cumulus shifted its relation to the sun and the sky turned electric blue and suddenly everything was bathed in that sharp winter light that heightens the contrast of things. It would have felt like a portent of something, except my CT scan showed progression of my tumors and I have now left the deforolimus study.

I was given a "wet read" -- my doctor looked at the pictures herself, either without the radiologist or only with a quick, informal consult. The news could have been worse; there was no obvious major spread of disease and my lungs look the same as before. But a lymph node crowded against a vein that feeds my left kidney has grown significantly, and the kidney itself has swollen in protest. Some lymph nodes lower on the chain, this time in my lower back, have also grown. So now we move on to the next thing: Consulting with Sloan-Kettering, and beginning another trial or treatment as soon as possible.

I may have a little more to say about this once I've had a time to process what has happened and I receive a formal report of the CT findings.